


Human

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blade Runner AU, Blade runner!Phil, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Tenderness, aloof strangers to lovers, mentions of death of a pet (not dan or phil's), mentions of grief, minor angst with happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22932814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052
Summary: Phil is a Police officer and former Blade Runner who wants to be left alone, but fate will put him to the task of investigating a new lead regarding a Replicant. To his surprise, he's met one of the suspects before.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Phandom Reverse Bang 2019





	Human

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fic for the @phandomreversebang inspired by the prompt provided by @snekydingdong and their amazing art. My beta on this occasion was my pal @yiffandquiff for being my beta!
> 
> [Art Link](https://snekydingdong.tumblr.com/post/611233826017099776/whaddup-heres-something-i-did-for/)

**_London, Sunday, February the 23rd 2019._ **

Phil woke up with a start as his white cat jumped on his stomach. 

“Oh, Eve!” he smiled. “Hello pretty girl, is it time to get up?” he asked, scratching behind her ears.

She jumped off the bed and walked only a few feet before looking behind her to check that Phil was following. He wasn’t, but the look she gave him prompted him to finally get up.

Eve continued leading the way to her food bowl and sat beside it looking at Phil intently, meowing.

“Oh, I see how it is. I thought you missed me, but you just wanted breakfast!” He shook his head with a smile and fed her.

He padded through his small and cluttered apartment to make his own breakfast. While the kettle was boiling, he picked up the laundry from around the room. Work consumed his life sometimes, whether he liked it or not, it was part of the job.

Realizing that there was no reason to keep walking in the darkness, he opened the blinds. The sunlight was barely able to pass the thick layer of smog clouding up the sky so it didn’t make that much of a difference. He sighed and turned on the lights.

He sat down with the intention of having a nice breakfast in silence, but before he even got a chance to smell his coffee, his phone rang. Upon answering, Chief Bryant wanted him at the precinct immediately. He groaned, put his coffee in a thermos, and pet Eve before grabbing his keys and heading to his car. It was a good thing that he had fallen to bed still in his clothes.

He tried to run but the rain still caught him, drenching him head to toe. He got into the vehicle and fixed his hair in the mirror. With the turn of the key, the car rumbled and soared up to the sky, setting the course for his destination. 

“Have a nice day,” read a buzzing McDonalds sign the size of his building. ‘ _Not likely’_ , he thought.

\---

Phil sipped his coffee moodily as he entered Bryant’s office and plopped into a chair, his torso leaned back and his legs spread wide. He knew how much the boss hated improper behaviour. 

“Lester, how gracious of you to join us!” the man said with a saccharine smile.

Phil ran his hand through his quiff and let out a huff to avoid punching his boss, again,“It’s Sunday and I was off the clock. What is it now?”

Bryant’s smile faded from his face, “Fine, be like that if you want,” he took a drag from his cigarette. “We got an anonymous tip of a replicant living undercover in a fancy building downtown, but the caller wouldn’t say the name of the alleged android. You’ll have to check every apartment.” 

“You know I’m no longer a Blade Runner. I transferred to the Police area and you know it. I don’t want to work this case.” 

“You either take this case or you will see how difficult life can get.”

“That’s no choice at all is it?” He took the necessary equipment, his gun and headed to the door. 

\---

Upon arriving at the building in question, he was met by the doorman, “Officer Lester, I was told that you were coming; if you need anything, please let me know.”

“Perfect! Then you won’t mind taking the test first.” 

“O-of course, officer. As you wish. Follow me to my office.”

Compared to the golden trimmed entrance hall or the velvet-clad elevators, the office felt sterile and bare; the grey ceiling fan added a sombre and depressing look to the place. It reminded Phil of the precinct.

The man sat at his desk, different devices checking his stress response to the questions, his pupil dilation, his heartbeat and breathing pattern. Phil was easily able to see the doorman’s emphatic response was that of a human, so he couldn’t be the replicant he was searching for.

“You’re free to go Mr Roberts, I just have one last question: You know the coming and goings of everyone in this building, I’m assuming you have your own theory of who, if anyone living here, is not human.”

“Well, there’s one person,” he paused. “If I had to guess, I would say the man in suite 215 is the one. He has lived here for 3 years now and we’ve gotten several complaints about him. But since he is not renting there’s not much we can do based on rumours.”

Phil decided to take note of the information Mr Roberts was providing, “What rumours are you referring to?”

“The old lady in Suite 219 is sure that the man, Nicholas Deck, killed her cat; she says he kept complaining that the animal was annoying him by roaming around the hallway and sitting by the windows. Nobody else ever complained about the kitten so I’m inclined to believe she is right.”

“Hmm. Anything else?”

Roberts thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers, “Yes! He has argued a lot with Mr Howell from suite 315 because he paces during the night, and with a few more people on his own floor because he likes to be very noisy. But when anyone else is, he snaps.”

“I see,” he leaned back in his chair. “Well, thank you for the information. Would you mind if I used your office to conduct the interviews? I would like to avoid transporting the equipment,” he said pointing to the artefacts. 

“Of course, officer. Of course.” Roberts was already heading for the door as if he couldn’t wait a second longer to put distance between him and Phil, but he stopped in his tracks when the blade runner spoke again.

“Would you please send Miss… Rosewell in?” He asked reading her name off the list of residents. 

The man smiled nervously. “Right away,” he nodded and rushed out the door. He stayed away from the office for the rest of the day.

\---

Phil poured another coffee and cracked his neck. It had been a long day, maybe he could take an hour off after the next interview, or-.

There was a knock on the door. Phil strode across the room and opened it swiftly. 

“What are you doing here?” Phil asked, feeling unable to keep the disdain from his voice.

“Mr. Roberts asked me to come, he said a blade runner was conducting an investigation here. It’s not like I had a choice,” The man said.

Phil sighed. _Obviously_ , the guy he occasionally bumped into around town and managed to always be rude to him lived in the building. With his luck, it would turn out that he was the Replicant and Phil would have to wonder forever if he had retired him out of spite or just because it was his job, “Yes, I am. Are you Daniel Howell?” 

“Yes! Are you going to let me in so we can get this over with?”

Phil huffed, opening the door fully and stepping aside to let him in, “Take a seat.”

Daniel did as instructed and Phil set everything for the test, “State your full name, address, and date of birth.”

“Daniel Howell. You know where I live since you are here, suite 315, and my date of birth is June 11th, 1991.”

“Tell me a childhood memory.”

“My grandmother basically raised me because my parents were very young when I was born. She used to bathe me in her pink bathtub or jumpscare me when I was playing games. She and Popsy used to film me a lot,” he said with a sad smile.

Phil noticed the empathic response to the memories were fairly consistent with those of a human being, but not entirely, “What do you remember about your parents?” 

“My mother always tried her best, she was very loving to me and my little brother.”

“What about your father?” asked Phil. Daniel’s body seemed to respond to the mention of his father with stress instead of longing.

He stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about him. Ask me something else.”

Phil cocked his head. “What happened to them?”

“They all died. I’m an orphan. My grandparents first, I don’t remember what illness it was. The rest of them in a car accident.” He turned his face away from the machine checking his pupils and blinked repeatedly. 

“Please keep your eyes on me.”

“Sorry,” he sniffled and rested his chin back on the device. There were no traces of Daniel’s usual snarky behaviour.

Phil didn’t think pushing him further was necessary. “I’m going to give you hypothetical scenarios, you just tell me what you would do in each case.”

“Ok,” Daniel said, running a hand through his hair.

“There’s a boy drowning in a lake, you are standing on the shore not too far from him, but you are not helping him.”

“Why not?”

“You just decide not to help him.”

“That’s impossible!” Daniel said, his hands shaking. “Who would let a child die like that?”

“Hmm.”

The interviews didn’t usually take more than 20 to 30 questions to determine if someone was a Replicant or a human. They were simply unable to fake human emotions accurately; they lacked a certain level of empathy and that resulted in them becoming violent with time. Daniel Howell was fairly consistent but every few questions something would be just a bit off. 

After over 100 questions, Phil decided that it was enough. They were both exhausted and it was time for dinner. He sighed and stretched his back.

“I think this is enough for now. Just one more question: If you had to guess who among your neighbours is a Replicant, who would you say it is?”

“I’m uncomfortable answering that question.”

Phil raised one eyebrow at him. “Why?”

Daniel leaned forward and placed his hands on the desk. “Have you ever ‘retired’ a human by accident.”

Phil tried to keep the images from his head but they surfaced nonetheless, leaving him speechless for a minute. “Yes,” he whispered. It hadn’t been an accident, it had been misjudgement on his part. Nobody had blamed him but he had transferred to the police force after that.

“That’s why I don’t want to answer. What if I’m wrong and cause someone’s death?”

“Fine, is there anyone who is an asshole?”

“Yes, several of them; even myself sometimes,” he pursed his lips debating on whether to continue or not. “The guy on 215 killed a cat.”

“I thought those were rumours.”

“I saw him do it, he pushed it out of the window, then he looked at me with empty eyes. I just ran.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to upset the old lady, I tried to convince her that the cat ran out and maybe a family adopted him. I buried the cat in the park, near the bench she sits sometimes and calls him,” Daniel turned his face away with tears in his eyes.

Phil cleared his throat. “Thank you, Daniel. That’s all.”

That night Phil crawled to bed next to Eve and hugged her tightly as she purred in contempt. He would make sure to clean the entire apartment before leaving in the morning; he knew she liked it best when it was clean.

\---

It was an understatement that Nicholas Deck was an asshole. After 2 days trying to get him to willingly take the interview, Phil finally convinced him on the condition that it was conducted in his apartment.

The first thing that Phil noticed upon arrival was how white and pristine everything was, with lights everywhere. The man had electronics everywhere; If Phil were to look hard enough, he was sure he could find a device to clean his ass. 

While he set all the equipment for the interview, the man offered Phil a glass of water. Phil nodded and let him sit connecting him to the machines before taking his place and a sip from his glass. Just to test him, Phil didn’t use the coaster which the glass had come with. The warning signs were immediate; the equipment was going off the charts. Deck was going mad with rage. 

Phil pretended not to notice and continued with the interview as per usual. By question 25, Deck was shaking in his seat. He stood up and started to punch Phil, screaming about entitled cops. Phil had thought that he could handle him but he knew it was over when Deck grabbed him by the neck and choked him, his vision was fading, he couldn’t get any air in. He could feel his body giving up.

The door slammed open and with the bang of a gunshot, Deck was no more. Phil slid to the floor coughing and clutching at his neck. Daniel rushed to him and set a gun on the floor. “Thank you,” was all Phil could say before his world turned black.

\---

Daniel and Phil started to get along since he’d visited Phil every day at the hospital until he was released. 

In the following weeks, they saw more and more of each other. Movie nights turned into dinner dates, light touches into kisses, kisses into love. Phil finally started to feel like his life had a purpose.

Once the evidence was collected, Daniel had been cleared of any wrongdoings, and even though Nicholas deck turned out to be a human, none of the inhabitants of the building seemed very sad to see him go. 

Absolutely done with the job, he told chief Bryant that he considered his investigation closed, but he knew the man wanted to keep pushing the case, sure that the lead they had gotten was right. That was his queue to leave.

Phil knew what he had to do and he had to be quick about it. He packed his bags and drove to Dan’s. 

“Hi, Mr Roberts!” He waved as he passed the doorman.

“Hi, Phil. Coming to see Daniel?” The man said with a knowing look.

Phil blushed but smiled anyway. “Yeah! See you later!”

Roberts laughed and shook his head.

Taking the elevator, Phil emerged on the third floor and knocked on suite 315. The door was promptly opened.

“Phil!” Dan said wrapping his arms around him and kissing him over and over.

Phil pushed him away gently. “Dan, we need to talk,” he tried to keep an encouraging smile but failing miserably.

Dan led him to the couch and sat beside him with a worried look upon his face. “What’s going on?” He placed his hand on Phil’s.

“I’m tired of this life. Bryant won’t let me retire so I’m going to move away. Otherwise, they’ll always keep asking me back. I hate it, I hate my job.”

Dan looked down and placed both of his hands on his lap. “So you want to break up…” he said barely above a whisper. 

“No! No. Dan, that’s not it.” He grabbed Dan’s chin and made him look up. “I want you to come with me. It’s not safe here.” 

Dan frowned. “Then why are you acting so weird! You look sad!”

Phil let out a deep sigh, bracing himself to break his boyfriend’s heart. “Dan, I searched for your records, your birth certificate, your family members,” he paused and looked into Dan’s eyes, he saw understanding in them. “They are not real, your memories are not real, you _are_ a Replicant.”

Dan covered his face and sobbed. “No! It can’t be true! I have pictures! I was a child!” 

“I went to Tyrell Corporation and spoke to Mr Tyrell himself. He said that you are one of the more advanced models but you don’t have any life restrictions. You’ll be able to live a normal life, as a human. Your memories gave you the ability to have an empathic response, so nobody should be able to notice if we lay low.”

Dan’s voice trembled as he spoke, tears still streaming down his face. “How long have I been alive?”

“Five years.”

Dan frame shook as he cried for the family that he never had, the childhood that he missed even though it wasn’t real and for his future. After a few minutes, he started to calm down. He climbed onto Phil’s lap and laid his head on his shoulder. “I always knew I was a bit weird, but I thought it was something else,” he sniffled. “But when I’m with you, I feel more human than ever.”

Phil rubbed circles on Dan’s back and kissed his head. “You are more human than most people I know. Come with me, Dan. _Please_ , let’s go.”

Dan sighed and considered it. It was not as if he was leaving anyone behind; he had everything to gain and nothing to lose. “Where would we go?”

Phil smiled. “To the Isle of Man, where my parents live. They’ll love you.”

Dan returned the smile. Maybe he would be able to have a family after all. “Ok, but first let me stop by Rose’s. I have something for her.”

\---

A few minutes later they knocked on the door of suite 219. “Coming!” The old lady yelled.

She opened the door with difficulty. “Danny! How are you?! And your boyfriend!”

“Good good. We wanted to give you something!” he said, pulling a box with holes in it from behind his back and opening it. An orange tabby cat very similar to her old one looked at her curiously!

Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, he looks just like my Sunny, but it’s not him.” She pet the cat anyway.

“I know, but he needs a home as well, you know? His human passed away and he ended up in a shelter. He’s very sad and he won’t eat.”

She covered her mouth with her wrinkly hands. “Oh, we can’t have that, no sir.” She grabbed the cat and took him inside, showing him different parts of her flat and explaining every place he could sleep or play on. Dan smiled and said goodbye to her for the last time.

\---

After they had settled on the Island and made one of the cabins by the woods their home, they managed to find jobs in town but mostly kept to themselves and to Phil’s family. The Island was weird, like a vortex where time had stopped a long time ago. Away from the big cities with tall buildings, buzzing billboards and trash all around, even the air was clearer. Life didn’t seem so sombre here.

Dan, having taken to Eve very quickly, soon convinced Phil to let him adopt a cat of his own as well. 

Phil finally agreed and offered to take him to a shelter, but Dan shook his head. Instead, he took a can of tuna to the porch, and as soon as he had opened it, a big black cat came running from the woods straight to him and meowed repeatedly.

Eve looked at them through the window and meowed as well. The cat stopped eating and looked at her. 

“Open the door,” said Dan. 

Phil wasn’t so sure that would end well. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m right here. I won’t let her get hurt,” Dan smiled.

Phil opened the door and Eve went right to smell the newcomer. They sniffed each other for a minute before the cat nuzzled her and started eating the tuna. She considered him for a moment before she joined him.

Phil put his hand on his heart. “Awww. How will you name him?” 

“Wall-e,” said Dan with a smile. Phil had shown him that movie the first time he slept over so it had a lot of attached memories.

Phil his boyfriend from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Eva and Wall-e, how sweet.”

“Like you and me,” Dan turned around without breaking the hug.

“They are meant to be.” Phil kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> In case you wish to reblog the fic: [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/611234049312391168/human/)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!!!!


End file.
